I figured I would try and keep it simple and just attempt to learn 5 words a day, starting with the verbs. So far it is going well - but I am only a couple of days in.

Check out the Spanish Learning Project for more details and to track my current progress.

It’s what is beneath our feet. Along the same vein as to the vastness of the universe, and the seemingly endless amount of time that has passed - I get a similar feeling when I see a colony of ants pass beneath my feet and disappear below the ground.

Remember when you were a kid and you would lay on the ground and look eye level with the ground, viewing the world as an insect might? Feeling so big can make us feel actually quite small, don’t you think? An entire universe, ecosystem, and network exists unexplored - right under our feet.

I sat and watched a colony of ants that were all working in unison to carry various goods along a long trail they had created. I hunched down and watched closely - some big, some small. Some working in pairs to carry items seemingly 5 times their size. The longer I watched, the more I thought about what went on in that vast world of theirs? What pushed them to do what they did? Did they think like you and me? What kind of lives did they live? What type of underground city were they submerging into?

And this is just one colony, of one subfamily, of one species. What else goes on in this miniature world that lives parallel to our own, yet evades our curiosity and attention.

We humans often like to center ourselves in this universe. Telling ourselves that our ‘advanced intellect’ places us at a level of superiority. But how much do we really know about the world around us? I mean…how much do we really know. I feel like we are at a point in history where many of us feel like science has started to uncover a vast majority of natures secrets - but I think that the universe holds far more secrets than any of us can imagine.

Not to go down a rabbit hole (lets go down a rabbit hole), but what is ‘intellect’. How convenient that we have ourselves (the human species), created our own ideas and definitions of intellect, and then proceeded to name ourselves the master of it. Let me go even further down this rabbit hole: what makes this idea of ‘intellect’ or ‘intelligence’ so important. I feel like this probably sounds like a stupid question to most, but that is sort of my point exactly. We as humans operate and function in the only way we know how. We only can view the world through our human eyes.

I think many people, if not most, see animals as a ‘machine made of meat’ - that’s to say that they aren’t ‘sentient’, for a lack of a better word. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that they couldn’t be. What I am saying is that we don’t know, and it’s naive to make the assumption otherwise.

I don’t know how I ended up on this tangent, but what I guess I originally came here to say is something along the lines of:

The stars make us feel small.

The expanse of time makes us feel insignificant.

The critters’ world beneath our feet makes me feel like a giant,

a giant who is too large to understand the depth of meaning of those who are small;

a giant who is too large and out of touch with the small details and realities that make up this world;

a world where those who scurry beneath our feet are able to understand the most intricate and minute beauties that we will never be able to comprehend.

Worlds live, clash, thrive, and and fall beneath our feet - and we are none the wiser;

we continue our meager lives on a pedestool

while maybe a war wages below,

or maybe drought or flood wipes out an entire colony.

We live, oblivious to the possible wonders or devastation that are happening below.

… I got a bit carried away, I know. But still. Something to think about, no?

I honestly think that writing down the thoughts helps me to organize them and reflect on them. Even as I write them, I start the judge them. Both in a good way, and a bad way.

In the way these judgments are good: in the sense that I realize once I put my thought into words, I see how flawed they can be, or I see some missing piece of the puzzle that I failed to realize before. I don’t think I need to write them down in order to benefit from this process, but the act of writing it down forces me to slow down and deliberately think the thoughts through to their completion, rather than having a general idea that I trick myself into thinking is a complete thought.

On the negative aspect of things, once I write things down and the flaws are laid bare - whether that be in the writing, or the thoughts themselves - it makes me hesitate to post it. Or I feel the need to revise and edit until the post is solid and reasoned. And If I was to guess, I would think that the majority of people would probably see it reasonable to put more time and effort into each post to make it more “polished” before making it public. And in a way I am tempted to do just that…but the thing is that a big part of having this blog is to avoid the need to do that. As soon as I need to plan, edit, and revise my writing it is going to feel like work; and I going to simply stop writing. Not only that, but then it feels like I am writing to make content, rather than writing to let my thoughts gather and evolve. I think the planning and editing could be very helpful to do this in a way, as I have had to obviously do this when writing college papers….but I am not trying to feel the need to write an essay every time I want to write a post.

The most logical thing to do would be to simply write an offline/private journal, so that there is no pressure - and whatever I write simply exists for my own sole benefit. But the irony is that although I want to write for myself, the mere fact that my blog is public gives me the motivation to try and write and post. So even though I am writing for myself, I have to admit that a part of me isn’t writing for myself, but for the recognition by others. I don’t want to write for the recognition of others, and I have tried to make my blog in a way that there are no likes or comments (no external indicators of the fact that anyone is or isn’t actually visiting/reading my posts) - but regardless, there is a small part of me that wants to share my thoughts with others, to be heard, and to connect…in some weird and corny way.

Simply put, I need to find a way to keep writing and posting - even if its uncomfortable to put my half-assed, rambling, and incredibly flawed ideas into writing to potentially be seen and read by others. I truly do think that the process itself is beneficial, and that if I continue to do it, then hopefully my disconnected thoughts will start to better make sense, and in turn I will be better equipped to communicate them.

–Anthony

In my mind, I often feel that a book is meant to be an entire experience - to be enjoyed from beginning to end. But I think that I actually get quite a lot of value by browsing through random books I pass by. In a way, I often reflect and digest the words I read more this way; taken in small bites, rather than as a large feast.

Granted, there is definitely something to be said about immersing yourself completely in a fictional world and forgetting reality while you follow the plot that is so brilliantly painted by the author.